Channing Tatum’s Letter to His Daughter is Everything

Channing Tatum & Jenna Dewan with Daughter

If he hasn’t already won you over with his dangerously good looks, dance moves and charm, he will now. Me and (undoubtedly), a billion other women are swooning over Channing Tatum, and here’s why: His open letter to his daughter.  The letter expresses his highest hopes for his daughter’s future self in her transition to womanhood, and it. Is. Everything.

C.T.’s letter addresses exploring sexuality, relationships and finding true love and is especially applicable to those of us who are navigating life in our twenty-somethings. Reading the letter unravelled the amount of pressure I have personally been feeling unknowingly.

When I initially read the letter, I was skeptical and misconstrued the article for sending a message I worried could be interpreted as women being more desirable when they have no standards and tolerate bad qualities in their S.O.s as Channing Tatum recounts the moment he fell in love with his now wife, Jenna Dewan.

“…she had accepted every part of me, the good and the bad. And I knew she wasn’t auditioning me or hoping I’d meet some set of expectations.”

Despite knowing what C.T. meant by this, I criticized his choice of words. It occurred to me that I were being defensive for the very reason Channing Tatum encourages authenticity. I couldn’t trust that women reading this would understand its intent. I worried that we wouldn’t be able to discern good from bad or how to trust our own judgement to make the right decisions, and I certainly didn’t want this letter to mislead a generation of women into thinking we didn’t need to be pre-cautious.

This is why I love the letter.

It’s brought to my attention how often I am told as a woman to be careful, to not be too trusting, to be mindful of the future… and I realize no wonder it’s become so easy to second-guess yourself (says me to myself)! Though none of this is telling me how to feel, it’s engrained in me to believe that my decisions could be horribly wrong and met with horrifying consequences. This way of paving my future and the decisions I make has stifled my ability to leap whole heartedly into anything without being fearful of making the wrong choice.

Contrary to how many women were raised or taught by society and adult figures, C.T’s letter credits women in such a way where we’re empowered to feel that our best decisions will come from ourselves. It’s a nice change to be told you can have confidence in your decisions. That the better you get to know yourself, the more likely you are to know what’s right for you. The most important thing is to direct our attention to who we are, not what is expected of us, or anything else that distances ourselves from our true selves… especially not fear. He continues with:

“And that’s what I want for my daughter… to ask herself what she wants and feel empowered enough to act on it.”

I hope that all women alike are encouraged to do the same. I also secretly hope Channing Tatum will come across this.

How to Spot a Bad Boss

Micromanaging

My Old Boss. All Day. Everyday.

Being a junior, I was desperate for any position that could contribute to that 5-year experience you’re required to have post entering your desired field. So desperate, I was willing to forego absurd and hardly even legal work rules like “no meat allowed in the workplace” (true story).

Maybe working for insufferable managers at my first start-up has made me weary to pursue these up-and-coming companies who ironically enough, are willing to take chances on candidates with little to no experience.  These workplaces like to lure you in on the condition that you don’t mind a “chill” work environment and a boss that’s so-to-speak your “friend” or “like family”.

These words have quickly become red flags as I’ve come to interpret them to mean the exact opposite.

All the free pizza and birthday cake parties in the world couldn’t disguise the fact that these guys were far from “chill”. They relied heavily on micromanaging styles. Oftentimes I would feel a pair of eyes linger on my screen, and I wasn’t wrong. The moment I used the office communicator to speak to a coworker, my employer would ask nonchalant: “Hey Lauren. What do you need so-and-so for? Next time, just ask me instead. You can ask me anything.”

A lot of information was being withheld from their employees and when we sought to do our own research on why we were doing the things we were doing, our employer would immediately re-direct our attention to something else, preferably menial tasking. For example, our employers would advertise a product claiming  x percent of proceeds would be donated towards a targeted cause. But if the products weren’t converting, they would nix the idea entirely. God forbid you ask about the specifics because then you’ll have entered a whole new discussion, where the boss says “I feel like your questioning my ethics.” Which frankly, I was. But I really  didn’t feel it were necessary to have a “heart to heart” with my boss. All I wanted was a direct answer – where were these proceeds going to and how much? Not once did I ask about his personal opinions on charity but I heard no end to his illogical spiel.

Asking too many questions had its repercussions like being assigned to do the same task repeatedly throughout the day, or being bombarded with messages about how our ads were “bad”. I should also mention, they had very limited vocabulary. Many employees left bad/truthful reviews online effectively tarnishing the company’s reputation. So of course, the remaining employees were called into meetings to clear the air. These meetings sounded a lot like this:

Employer: “This isn’t a sweatshop (their words for verbatim) but we need our workers to understand that as one of Canada’s leading e-commerce companies, we need to work hard. We don’t want you to be using your phones, you should expect somedays you will be packaging in the warehouse with Aunty (their mother, whom everyone was told to call “Aunty”). We tell everyone this the day they get interviewed (false.)”

Essentially, the meetings were a threat to our income. To say the least, the job was a nightmare but taught me plenty. For every impressionable job seeker out there, beware of an employer who forcibly tries to befriend you as a manipulation tactic. Look for someplace professional.